These
are 6 Long tipss of How to heal a broken heart. If you feel heart-broken, you will be hurting your feelings. 'Hurt' is a word used to describing the
'pain' of a particular relationship breakup, but it isn't just metaphor. Research have found that the same area of the brain that alternately activate when we
experience actual physical pain are triggered if a painful break up occurs. This takes time to heal.
The world and his dog might give you
advice like "There's plenty more fish in the sea". But such
platitudes, though technically true, don't feel true at the time.
Love makes us feel like the person
we love is the only one for us. So do we each really have a soul mate? Someone
who was uniquely 'meant for' us?
Here are some ideas and tips to helping you heal
your broken heart safely:
1)
Give yourself some time to think and meditate
If your lover was making you
miserable most of the time, then whatever it was, it wasn't love. Masochistic
dependency often stands in for love until the real thing comes along.
Anyway, once the object of your love
goes, so do those elevated levels of feel good hormones. Plummeting levels of
dopamine make you feel bad. So, although you can feel better quicker than you
might suspect, don't assume you 'should' feel perfectly back to normal
immediately.
But the biggest mistake is to assume
you'll never feel better. This is illusion. However it feels now, you'll learn
as time goes by to find life meaningful again without this person.
2)
Keep up activities that fully engage your attention
Heartbreak makes us continually
dwell on what could have been, replaying over and over
what 'went wrong' and basically putting the imagination into overdrive. If we start living more in our
daydreams (remember that even worrying is a form of daydream), we feel worse.
Sure, some of this will be natural as you adjust. But a recent study found that
we are at our happiest when engaged in activities that take up lots of our
attention. Concentration, rather than daydreaming, makes us happiest day to day . Whether it's doing intricate practical work or focussing
hard on sports, focus outwards as much as possible.
3)
Keep in touch your friendships and make sure your other are activities going
When we finally fall in love, it's tempting
to neglect our wider life as we focus all
our attentions onto the object of our adulation. If you've done that, even a
little, now is the time to put that right, to get back to your wider life, to
see people again, and to engage in your neglected activities and interests.
This applies even if you don't feel like it, because the 'feeling like
it' often comes after you actually start doing it. No one said that a
bit of willpower wasn't needed to help mend a broken heart.
4)
Ask yourself Question whether the person was really meant for you
You'll have well-meaning
friends no doubt telling you the person wasn't really for you, and whether you
believe or not this might not make much difference to the way you
actually feel. The fact is, we can miss things that were actually bad
for us. Being with the wrong person will
emotionally destabilize us - make us feel insecure or condition us to have low
expectations for ourselves and therefore worsen our self-esteem. But the
genuinely right person will help us grow and progress in our lives; the best
partnerships occur when each person, through mutual encouragement, helps the
other feel new possibilities and a greater sense of possibility in life. The
right pairing will survive and not have the seeds of its own destruction in its
beginning.
Think it over: were they really
right for you above and beyond how they made you feel like?
5)
Remember the bad times and consider what you have learnt all the way from the beginning.
A woman would dig out
really unflattering pictures of her ex-lover whenever she felt upset about
the way it had ended. Of course, your ex may have been incredibly photogenic,
but I want you to avoid the 'biased reminiscence' trap. When something ends,
it's easy to recall just the good times, the passion, romance, fun, and
excitement. But the relationship ended. And because it ended, there must have
been not-so-good times.
So again, focus on the not-so-good
times from this relationship, learn from them, and avoid exclusively blaming
yourself or your former partner.
6) Eliminate the power of old associations
This is a normal
part of any grieving process. And whilst this is happening, life can feel
painful. But don't assume there is nothing you can do about it.It takes two to tango, as popularly said.
It's important you still go to some
of the same places, still listen to some of the same music, until you build up
new associations with these things that don't have to do exclusively with your
ex. Consciously doing this will not only help you get over heartbreak, but also
give you renewed confidence and a feeling of personal power.
- Get out and do things you enjoy.
- Exercise.
- Socialize with friends and family.
- which is a massive mood booster!
- Pursue interests.
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Lifestyle